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  • Julie Kristine Woie

Beautiful skin and chocolate addiction

When I say I love chocolate, people just shrug and say 'So do I.' But what they don't understand is that I love chocolate. So much so that it is becoming a real problem.

Because I am going to be an actress. (And yes, I like the word 'actress' - not because I don't believe in equality, but because it is a nice word.) And as an actress you have to look pretty on camera. Unless you want to play all the ugly parts, but I don't want that, because I'm vain. Now, some people naturally have beautiful skin. Photoshopped people such as this:

Though we all know this picture is a lie - eating chocolate isn't ever this gorgeous, glamorous or seductive. Eating chocolate looks like this:

My point is that some people just have natural beautiful skin no matter how much chocolate they eat. But I am Norwegian. I have ultrawhite sensitive skin. I am affected by the sun, stress, hormonal imbalance and chocolate to such a degree that you would think that if there is a God above who believes in justice, he would have distributed the skin cells a bit differently across the world's population.

But then of course the occasional Norwegian pops up with beautiful, smooth, tanned skin, and my whole exotic excuse falls to pieces. I have bad genes, that's all. Which means that I need to start taking care of my diet. And my diet consists of chocolate. And chocolate only.

The problem is - I cannot escape the chocolate. It follows me wherever I go.

I am constantly stressed, and when you are constantly stressed, you eat chocolate, which again makes you more stressed, because you know you shouldn't be eating chocolate, which makes you eat more chocolate and then you get so stressed that you notice you've got chest pains, but you refuse to go to the doctor because your ego doesn't want to hear that your diet's wrong and so you eat more chocolate to numb the stress and then you die.

And your skin problem is never solved.

Have a great day,

The Phoenix

(But luckily, because I am so forward-thinking and care about my future, I have come up with a plan and it is clever:

1) Graduate. All my stress will go away.

2) Go sugar-free in August. (I can do it. Not June, I need to get through college, not July, because I'll want ice cream, but August. August is the month.)

3) Drink enough water.

4) Sleep. Like. A. Baby. )

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